Hello world!

Usually these words are exclaimed as a new baby enters this world. As I write this post, I kind of feel like a newborn baby coming into this world of digital exposure. I have been putting off creating this blog for well over a year. Putting off…as in paying for this webspace, having it all designed and ready to go but not posting. I really hate to waste money, so it is a big deal that I have just been paying for something I have not been using. But, I was not able to give myself the permission to put my passion and my vulnerability out for the world to read. What if it wasn’t good enough?

This past year has been a complete growing experience. In 2021 I was 100% focused on my physical health and I got far into the goal that I had set for myself. I looked amazing! But on the inside I was a mess, a complete disaster. I was dealing with a new ADHD diagnosis and was completely hyper-focused on all of the wrongs aspects of my life. I was forgetting about my family and my household responsibilities…but hey, I looked good! As I took a step back, I saw that the important parts of life were completely getting pushed to the side. I dove headfirst into a shame spiral and was steps away from putting myself into a mental hospital..

The power of shame.

Shame is defined by the Oxford Languages as “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior”. I would add “caused by the consciousness of PERCEIVED wrong or foolish behavior”. Shame has the power to govern your whole life and all of those around you. This could lead to incredibly impulsive behavior, which usually leads to more shameful emotions. As I have worked on my own mental health this year, I have learned that shame is the root of all eviI and that I do not have to give shame and fear the power to make choices over my life anymore. I have SO MUCH to share; I have SO MUCH that I have learned and I want others to hear what I have to say.

I have felt a massive pull to prepare my family mentally, spiritually, financially and in self sufficiency. I also have felt the pull to put my experiences out there for others to glean from.

Most would think that as a family with two Type 1 diabetics (Mr. S and I) and two with Cystic Fibrosis (the 2 kiddos) I should put medical preparation on the top of that list, but our family has been living the past 10 years only for the medical aspect of our lives. And we have ONLY been surviving and not living. Come on this journey with me as I share how to live an intentional and full life amidst the struggles of a family full of chronic illness.